


Shadows and Monsters

by Love_andbalance



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Alternate Universe - Dark, F/M, Human/Monster Romance, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Power Imbalance, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Sexual Violence, Vaginal Sex, but I'm really not, don't blame me, i should be sorry, reylo au, sexy monster, surrender to the dark, unhappily ever after, you read it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:00:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23095993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_andbalance/pseuds/Love_andbalance
Summary: God damn right, you should be scared of meWho is in control?- Halsey, ControlRey Johnson just became an intern at First Order Industries. It seemed like a good way to spend the summer before she begins college.The job is great, but there is something about the way her new boss watches her that seems wrong, almost predatory.She will soon learn that what is on the surface is not always what it seems and what lies beneath is too seductive to resist.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 95





	1. Sensing Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE MIND THE TAGS!!! THIS CONTAINS DARK ELEMENTS AND SOME SEXUAL VIOLENCE!!
> 
> Please do not read if doing so is not good for your mental health. 
> 
> Also our monster is a monster and that won't change, so the ending is not a redemptive type story!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the beauty of life is made up of light and shadow- Leo Tolstoy

Rey Johnson gave a quick glance at the woman standing next to her as they both washed their hands in the ladies’ bathroom at First Order Industries.

Tall, blonde, lithe, perfectly controlled…everything about her was poised and polished. Her clothing was perfectly tailored to maximize the shape of her body, the skirt just long enough to give the appearance of professionalism while still exposing the full length of her impossibly long legs, made to look even longer in heels.

Rey compared Phasma’s perfectly applied make up and flawless hair to her own skin, scrubbed and fresh but uncovered, and hastily assembled bun. Interning at F.O. Industries provided a challenge over the summer, but it certainly hadn’t helped with her confidence.

Not that she usually cared about those things, it was just that _he_ was in the office today. Her boss, Kylo Ren. Just thinking about him made the heat rise in her cheeks.

He towered over her when he spoke to her with his incredibly soft voice and the way his perfectly fitted suit shifted around his body as he moved made it hard to think about anything else. It seemed like the buttons on every shirt he owned struggled to contain his massive chest.

The way his black hair curled softly over his collar and the dark softness of his eyes had quickly become the center of every sexual fantasy she had. She didn’t have any experience in that area, but she was happy to imagine what it might be like to finally get some with him.

From the first moment she had seen him, everything about him made her wish she was somehow more. More like Phasma, controlled and confident and experienced. The things she knew she would have to be to get his attention.

Kylo was a powerful man, obviously in his thirties, and she was certain that he had never looked twice in her direction unless it was to find a missing paper or his morning coffee. Why would he? At eighteen she was probably still a child in his eyes.

She looked from herself to Phasma again as the older woman strolled out the door. A _frumpy_ child, she thought, tugging hopelessly at her top. It was the best she had, and it wasn’t bad necessarily, it just wasn’t on Phasma’s level of sophistication.

There was nothing she could do about it, though, so she walked slowly back down the hall toward her desk. It was just in front of Kylo Ren’s office, allowing her to have a clear view through the large office windows of where he sat talking on the phone.

She didn’t know why it happened, maybe it was just that he caught the sudden movement from the corner of his eye as she walked to her desk, but he looked up and locked eyes with her for the first time.

He froze and his pupils dilated. She could see even from a distance that his eyes, usually a soft and inviting brown, were suddenly black.

Her nerves were screaming, something inside her insisting she should run, but she couldn’t look away.

She stayed there, pinned in place by the intensity of his gaze, for what seemed like an eternity, until he slowly and deliberately looked away.

Her heart was pounding, and she was air into her lungs to make up for breath that she hadn’t known she was holding.

Phasma walked by, on her way to a scheduled meeting with Kylo, and found Rey sitting with her fingers clenched on the edge of her desk, trying to regain her composure.

The smile she shot Rey seemed a bit too sharp, a bit too knowing, but all she said was “Are you alright? You look a bit… pale.”

Rey nodded, trying to work up a polite smile. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

Phasma’ eyes swept over her, considering, and then she walked into Kylo’s office and closed the door behind her.

***

Kylo looked up as Phasma walked into his office. She was smirking at him, as usual, in that way she had that made him want to wipe that look off her face permanently. Or remove her face, which would be infinitely more satisfying, though he knew his boss wouldn’t like it.

Being Palpatine’s mate had its advantages, which she knew only too well.

She walked toward his desk, eyeing him knowingly all the way.

“ _Tsk, tsk, tsk._ She’s practically a child, Ren. Did you really have to finally bind with a child?”

She settled into a chair across from him, long legs crossing seductively. It did nothing for him, she wasn’t _his_ mate. She was someone’s mate, though, so she also wasn’t food. Beyond her place as Palpatine’s side, she held no interest for him.

He leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Phasma. Would you care to elaborate on your newest theory about my binding prospects?”

She smiled, just a touch viciously at the edges. “You’ve needed a mate for some time. No one has made any pretense about that. Having a mate takes the edge off the hunger, and yours,” she looked at him pointedly, “is high enough that covering it up has become a liability for us all. It’s understandable that you can’t control when the binding happens, but _since it has,_ I am sure that Palpatine will expect you to claim your mate.”

“If I have,” he snapped, “then I will claim my mate when I deem appropriate.” His eyes flicked to the window that separated his office from the space beyond. The girl was sitting at her desk, shuffling through a stack of papers. She looked pale and worried.

He was worried. She was young, probably too young. Clearly the type to be inexperienced with even human mating. If he tried to claim her now, she would run screaming and he would have no choice but to kill her.

That he didn’t want to do. Killing humans was easy, often tasty, but not her. Phasma was right. She wasn’t food…she was something else.

Phasma was watching him and his reaction to the girl. “Soon, Ren.”

He nodded absently, knowing he had given himself away by watching her too intensely. It was never truly possible to hide it when binding occurred. The reactions were too obvious to those who knew what to look for.

How long would it take, he wondered, for her to be ready?

***

Rey looked up from her desk to find him watching her--again. It had been like this since the day he had first seemed to truly notice her. He was always watching her.

It started off subtle, but he grew bolder by the day. He wasn’t even trying to hide it now. He watched while he talked on the phone, looked at her when he walked to his office.

He used to only come to the office three days a week, now he was here every day.

She didn’t mind, though she wasn’t sure exactly what it all meant. He hadn’t really spoken to her in the weeks since then, just watched.

She wondered what he was thinking, when he looked at her so intently, as he was doing now.

She had started trying to look nicer when she came to work. A little make-up, a few curls in her hair, some perfume and jewelry. She thought she actually looked a bit pretty today.

Feeling a little emboldened by her new fashion choices, she gave him a small smile.

He smiled back, but…it wasn’t entirely nice. Something about the way his lips curled up at the corner, the sudden darkening of his eyes, made it seem less like a friendly acknowledgment and more like an invitation to sin.

She didn’t mind that either, she decided. If he invited her to sin with him, she would surely jump in with both feet and never look back. Rather like making a deal with the devil, with only the devil himself as the reward.

Her eyes widened when he lifted his hand and crooked his finger at her, beckoning her into his office. She swallowed nervously. She’d never been in his office. Had she done something wrong? Was he going to chastise her for smiling at him?

She peaked her head in his office, leaning around the door so she could see him sitting at his desk.

“Yes, sir?”

“Please,” he waved one very large hand in the direction of a chair, “come in. Have a seat.”

She stepped in hesitantly and walked quickly to the seat he had pointed out, perching delicately on the edge of the seat.

He raised a brow at her. “Are you nervous?” His voice was silky and soft, and it sent a shiver down her spine.

She smiled weakly. “You’ve never called me in here before. Have I done something wrong?”

He leaned back in his chair, letting his eyes do a slow sweep of her from head to toe and making her squirm and press her thighs together. He smiled at the sight of her and she knew he could tell she was aroused. She felt the heat of embarrassment flood her cheeks and looked away quickly.

“No,” he answered finally. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” He stood and walked around his large, ornate desk. It was made of heavy, old wood and seemed solid and unmovable; much like him.

He stopped in front of her, sitting casually on the desk’s edge. His hands pressed onto the desk’s top on either side of this thick thighs as he leaned forward, letting his voice drop until it was low and intimate as he spoke. “I was simply wondering if you were enjoying your time here at First Order Industries.”

“Oh, um, yes! Yes, very much so.” She didn’t believe he called her in here for this, but he seemed to be quite enjoying staring at her so maybe that was his real intention.

“You seem to have gotten rather comfortable here. It’s frankly a bit unusual, most of our interns don’t enjoy being in the office.”

“Oh? I haven’t noticed anything uncomfortable about the office. Everyone seems friendly.”

He smiled again, “They are perfectly friendly during office hours, it’s a company requirement. Still, most of our interns have problems adjusting to the general atmosphere. They get nervous. You don’t seem to have a problem with it, however, which makes you…special.”

She sat back in her chair; lips parted slightly in surprise. He thought she was special and that was quite a revelation in her mind. “Thank you, sir. I do enjoy the job here.”

“No need to call me ‘sir’ anymore, Rey. May I call you Rey?” He waited for her nod before continuing, “Good. Now I think that your…specialness…might need to be explored a bit more, so we can find the right position for you within the company.”

“Oh, thank you, uh…Kylo, but I’m just interning for the summer. I’m planning on going to college in the fall.”

“Any particular area of study interest you?” He leaned back, watching her with an intensity that made her want to squirm in her seat.

“Business,” she said firmly, sitting up straighter and trying to make herself sound professional and confident, like his eyes on her body didn’t make her want to melt into a puddle of newly awakened sexual energy.

“Ah, perfect.” He was apparently unfazed by her demonstration of professional confidence. “The proper position in the company would offer you a very flexible work schedule, competitive salary, and tuition assistance…by which I mean I would personally see to it that we paid for all of your expenses.”

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “But...why? Why would you help me?”

He chuckled darkly. “You are special, but so innocent. It’s truly adorable.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“What do you think of Phasma?” He gestured behind her and she turned to see the tall blonde emerging from Palpatine’s office.

“She’s lovely, of course, but what does that have to do with me?”

“She started here very much like you did, several years ago. She caught the attention of my boss, just as you have captured mine. Everything that she is now, she owes to him. I can provide you the same…opportunities.”

She could feel herself blushing as his meaning finally began to sink in. “She’s his lover?”

“Something like that. It’s a bit more involved than that with men like Palpatine and myself. She’s his mate. He takes more from her than the average lover.”

He leaned forward again, getting far too close and letting his lips linger against her cheek. “He also offers more, so much more. As I would offer you.”

This close she can smell the dark musky scent of him and feel the hot brush of his breath on her skin. She was tense and her desire was shot through with a thread of fear, some long dormant instinct screaming under the surface, but she turned and looked into his eyes. “What would you ask of me?”

His eyes changed suddenly, the white and soft brown suddenly replaced by inky black and bleeding crimson.

“Everything!”


	2. Monsters & Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monsters are real and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win - Stephen King

Rey jumped up so quickly she knocked her entire chair over. She stumbled back, turning toward the door to run, but his hand snaked out to grab her wrist and pull her back against him. She crashed into his arms, eyes darting helplessly until they settled on his face.

He was calm and his eyes had returned to their customary brown hue.

She flinched when raised a hand to brush his knuckles across her cheek. “I’m not going to hurt you. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. Neither would anyone else in the office, not even my boss. You are entirely safe here.” He smiled at her softly. “Probably safer than you have ever been in your life. Anyone trying to hurt you while you’re with me, would soon be having a very painful end of life experience.”

He settled her gently back on her feet before repositioning her chair.

“Please, sweetheart, sit. I won’t even touch you again, unless you ask me to.” He held his hands up, palms facing her, in a gesture of surrender to her wishes.

Survival warred against curiosity until she sank slowly back into her chair, eyeing him warily as she did so. “What are you?”

He shrugged, and she stared in hopeless fascination as the movement caused his shirt to pull at the buttons on his chest. “We’ve gone by many names and many legends, none of which are particularly accurate. I’m a monster. A demon. The boogeyman under your bed. Take your pick.”

She twisted her fingers in her lap. Trying desperately to focus on his words and not the pounding in her heart or the way she could smell the sweet scent of him from across the small space between them. “I see. Then why aren’t you eating my face right now or something?”

He chuckled. “We don’t eat people at the office. Remember when I told you that being nice was office policy? And I can’t hurt you, as I said.”

“I was only kidding about eating my face,” she said weakly, horrified that he might actually do such a thing to people. He only lifted a brow in surprise.

She huffed out a breath. None of this made sense. She looked around quickly, searching for some explanation. Maybe she was on one of those hidden camera prank shows or the kind that did awful magic tricks. His eyes changing could have been some kind of fancy illusion.

“Don’t you want to know why?”

His voice pulled her attention back to him. “Why what?”

“Why I wouldn’t hurt you. I’ve hurt others, many others.” He looked at her questioningly.

“Umm…sure?” Any moment now someone was going to come in and reveal the joke. Best to just act calm and not embarrass herself by pretending to think all of this was real.

“You’re my mate.” He stared at her, arms crossed, waiting for a reaction.

She squeezed her thighs together at the heat that thought caused to rush through her. But still, he was probably only toying with her.

“Ah, I see,” she said, finally. “I don’t seem to recall agreeing to that.” She was starting to think maybe he really believed this because of the way he was looking at her. He was somber. Watching her patiently as she squirmed and processed his words.

He spoke softly, but with a certain calm confidence that made a chill run down her spine. “You didn’t, no. Not yet. It’s a bit complicated but my choice of mate is not entirely my own. It’s an instinct, a powerful one, that drives those like me to a human companion that is most suitable.”

She pursed her lips and looked at him over her scrunched nose. “And I’m the most suitable? I’m nothing.”

“From a certain point of view. But not to me. What I want is for you to join me.” He tipped his head and she watched a stray lock of black hair fell across his brow. “There are prices to pay, naturally, but ones that are well worth the cost.”

“Prices?” She had begun to feel like a badly trained parrot. Echoing his own words back to him repeatedly in the form of endless questions.

“Several things that come as requirements of being my mate. You get money, power, prestige, immortality, the joy of my company.” His lips twitched and she realized that he was attempting to tease her. The entire situation was tilting ever further into the bizarre. Did monsters have a sense humor?

“In exchange,” he continued, “you give me everything. You belong to me exclusively in all possible ways. Mind, body, spirit. You will have little interaction with family and friends anymore, and, as they will continue to age and you will not, even that will eventually be taken from you.”

He continued to stare at her with quiet curiosity as she shook her head slowly in disbelief.

“I won’t age? And I can’t see my family? That sounds horrible. All of it.”

His expression was grave. “It is. And though most of the mating that occurs between us will be with me in this form, it will not always be that way. In order for the bond between us to be satisfied, there will be times when mating in my true form will be required. It is less than pleasant. Phasma often describes it as extremely painful and she rarely returns to the office until several days have passed.”

“Why are you telling me this? If you’re such a monster, shouldn’t you just drag me in against my will and do whatever it is you’re going to do?” He was being entirely too polite and considerate.

He chuckled, the sound rolling around her. It was rich and dark and sent a wave of heat through her that was impossible to ignore.

“If you were food, that’s exactly what I would do. You, however, are not food, as we discussed. There is something truly monstrous in offering a choice. You know shouldn’t take it. You know that it will make you complicit in every horrible thing I’m going to do during the course of our lives together, which will be many, I assure you.”

He paused, gave her time to contemplate his words. “But, in the end, you will take the offer anyway,” he said it will absolute finality. “And the guilt and the shame will almost outweigh the joy you take from being with me, but it will never be quite enough to do so. You will give yourself to me and you will never regret it. A soul sold for the privilege of what I can give you.”

The words finally penetrated into her dazed shock.

“I won’t,” she stood abruptly, voice rising in bewildered anger. “Of course, I won’t! You just told me you _eat_ people! That I won’t ever see my family! That you plan to hurt me when mating with me, whatever the _hell_ that means! I’m going home and I’m _never_ coming back here to this crazy place!”

He didn’t bother standing this time or reaching for her as she turned toward the door. All it takes is his voice and one quiet word for her to realize that he’s right and she isn’t capable of leaving.

“Rey,” it was so soft she barely heard it, but with an unmistakable tone of command. Her hand on the doorknob dropped uselessly to her side.

“Come here, sweetheart.” Several tense seconds passed and the only sound she could hear was the pounding of her own heart.

When she turned to face him, he held out a hand. When she placed her own much smaller one on his, and felt his fingers close around it, she knew she had made a choice from which there was no return.

He gave her arm a small tug and pulled her forward until her body nestled comfortable between his knees as he sat on the edge of the desk.

It was intoxicating being so close to him, wrapped in the smell of him and able to hear his heartbeat. He ran his hands up her arms, soothing the tingling sensation that was spreading under her skin.

She had only one question left to ask. “Why me?”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she shuddered from the contact. “Because of that. Very few humans can stand to be around me for longer than a few minutes. You are beautiful, but many human women are. When I looked at you, really looked at you, for the first time, I did not see fear. I saw desire. You were made for me.”

She didn’t deny it. What good would it do when he was so close and could hear the way her heart pounded?

“The first time will be difficult, but necessary to seal the bond between us. Have you been…intimate with anyone else?” His eyes were probing and demanded honesty, though she blushed deeply at the question.

She shook her head and he muttered quietly, “I suspected. It’s thrilling to have you all to myself but will make it more uncomfortable for you. I’m sorry.”

“The first time, will you be like this? Or…whatever else you are?” What else was he? He had mentioned his true form, but she had no idea what that might be, or how much pain she might experience.

“Other,” he said, offering nothing else in the way of explanation. “We should go soon, before you have too much time to think and get nervous.”

She hadn’t realized he meant to begin so soon. Shouldn’t they be dating or something first? She barely knew him. Maybe the relationship wasn’t like that and he only wanted her for mating. She didn’t understand the way this worked at all.

“What’s going on in there?” he asked, gently tapping the side of her head when she didn’t answer.

“Is this…I mean, what exactly does it mean to be you mate? Are you going to be mating with others? Do I live in my apartment still? I don’t understand.”

He stood up, grabbing her hand as he walked by, and pulled her out of the office toward the elevator. “I will answer all of those questions on the way. Come on.”

She scurried along behind him, blushing again when he stopped to have a word with Phasma about how she would likely be out the office for several days. Phasma’s look was knowing, but that shouldn’t have surprised Rey. She was someone’s mate, after all.

He pulled her into the elevator and the doors closed behind them. “Now,” he said, “to answer your questions. You will live with me and be with me because that is where you belong. You will mate with no one else, and neither will I. Being my mate is rather like a marriage, but more. More intense, more devoted, more everything.”

“What if I decide I don’t want to be your mate anymore?” She peaked up at him. She couldn’t imagine it. He looked perfectly boyish and charming, with his soft black curls sweeping at his collar and the hint of a smile on his face. Something inside her yearned for him.

“You won’t.” The elevator doors opened, and she was soon being tugged across the lobby to the parking lot and there was no more time for questions.

He stopped next to a sleek black sports car and opened the door for her to slide in. It was clean inside and smelled like him.

He walked around to the driver’s side and settled in behind the wheel. Her stomach fluttered when he started the engine and made a quick exit toward the nearest street.

She was in a car with him alone. He was either going to eat her or mate with her and both options suddenly seemed equally terrifying.

His hand came to rest on her knee and she her emotions quieted. She relaxed against the seat, turning to find him sneaking small glances at her as he maneuvered around traffic at dangerous speeds.

She wondered what he was thinking, but she didn’t have the courage to ask.

They pulled into a parking garage and he was at her door again before she could even get her seatbelt off. He was certainly in a hurry, but whether eager for mating or fearful that she might change her mind, she wasn’t sure.

He grabbed her hand again and she was hard pressed to keep up with his long strides as he cut a quick path the lobby of a fancy high-rise apartment building.

She had never seen anything so opulent, but he barely gave her time to take in even a vague impression of her surroundings, heading straight for the nearest elevator.

A quick glance at the buttons showed he was taking her to the top floor.

This time the ride was a quiet one, and not even the gentle squeeze of his hand could calm the jump of her nerves.

He led her into his apartment and closed the door.

The sound of the lock sliding into place distracted her from any thought she may have had of evaluating her surroundings. She was trapped now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know if I like the way this story is going, but as usual I have underestimated the number of chapters that I actually need to finish it. One or two more probably because I have issues. 
> 
> As always let me know what you think of it!


	3. Vows & Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In violence, we forget who we are- Mary McCarthy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be mindful of the tags. This chapter contains blood, pain, very dubious consent elements, and monster stuff.

She seemed to expect him to pounce on her as soon as the lock slid into place and she turned quickly, taking several desperate steps back as he advanced toward her.

He remained a man, however, and took her hand as he led her further into the apartment.

The room was large and open, bathed in light from the large expanse of glass that made up most of the walls.

Not they lacked privacy. There was no one to see, because there were no other buildings around that were as tall as the one they were in now. He had made sure of it before he had chosen this as his living space. The days of him hiding in shadows with the other monsters were long since passed.

His furniture was modern and black, but comfortable. There was a large TV, but nothing else on the walls and everything was tidy to the point of being immaculate.

She was looking around with an expression of surprise on her face that she didn’t bother to hide. Probably because it looked so normal. No coffins or body parts lying around made it seem entirely too mundane for a monster’s lair.

And yet, it should have been exactly what she expected from what she knew of him. It was exactly like everything else that he had allowed her to see about his life. Like his clothing, his office, and his car everything here was expensive, understated, and of the highest quality.

He led her to a comfortable looking chair and gestured for her to sit down. She complied quickly and he suspected that her nerves were getting the best of her again.

“You look pale,” he was hovering over her, staring probably too intently at her face. “Would you like a drink?”

He indicated a small bar area near the kitchen that was well stocked with a variety of different liquors.

She shook her head. “I’m not old enough to drink. Not for a few more years.”

He tipped his head and looked at her seriously. She was such a rule follower. It was strange that she had been the one for him. Most mates were not like her. They were natural rebels and he was certain she had never rebelled a moment in her life before the desire she felt for him had fluttered to life inside her.

He considered only a moment before walking to the bar and pouring two glasses of amber liquid.

She watched him curiously as he brought them back and sat down on the chair across from her own. He placed one of the glasses in her hand smiled encouragingly.

“The first thing that you need to understand about your life from this moment, is that none of those rules apply to you anymore. Ever.”

He waited for her to nod hesitantly and take a sip of her drink. She frowned at the taste but took another sip because he was staring at her expectantly.

“You do whatever the hell you want to do, unless you are taking an order from me directly, or my boss in my absence. Even he wouldn’t dare to give you an order if I was there, because that’s how it works in our world. You answer to me and to me only. You are _mine_.”

She nodded again and he decided to trust that she understood well enough how it would be for her, even if she didn’t understand why.

She took a shuddering breath and another drink, a little larger this time. She seemed to be trying to bolster her courage, so he waited for her to speak.

“What happens now?” Her voice sounded timid and frightened.

It didn’t help that when he looked at her, he couldn’t control the pity that he was certain mixed with the desire that was etched onto his face.

“The process is difficult, as I said before, which I am sorry about.” It was unusual for him to feel anything for a human. He had ignored countless pleas for mercy. But he wasn’t concerned about the sudden compassion that moved him.

Every monster had a strange soft spot for their mate.

If it wasn’t quite love, it was the closest he would ever be able to feel.

“Well, fuck that,” she said, sitting straighter and meeting his eye more directly. “I don’t need your pity. I came here on my own, made my own choice to deal with you and take what you have to offer me. I agreed to the price, and I will pay it.”

It surprised him. Everything about her was a fascinating contradiction. She encapsulated innocence and desire, fear and impulsive bravery, conscientious consideration and reckless abandon.

He sat back and relaxed in his chair, studying her with great enjoyment. He made his explanation blunt, since she had bristled at his softness. “First there’s a kind of ceremony that’s needed. It will complete the binding between us and make you mine in a more permanent sense.”

She nodded, and he could tell she was trying to appear brisk and businesslike, not all someone who needed a monster’s pity.

She looked so innocent and vulnerable sitting there on his couch. He smiled into his glass so she wouldn’t accuse him of not taking her seriously.

“It’s a dark magic ritual. I’m going to cut that soft skin on your arm and watch the blood drip. I’m going to like it.” He held her gaze, waiting for her to flinch, but she held steady.

Maybe she _didn’t_ need his pity. The thought was overwhelming. Human mates were always soft and fragile. Their desire heavily mingled with fear, especially at first.

The idea that she might not be so easily broken stirred the lust in him.

“And after the ritual, I’m going to take you into that bedroom,” he nodded toward an open door on the other side of the room, and she turned to look “and complete the mating that seals you to me forever.”

He was compelled to push her, to see if she would back down from her proud and determined stance. He was prepared to be as soft with her as possible if that was what she required, but… he leaned forward, challenging her physical space and getting far too close.

“I’m going to fuck you senseless. It’s going to hurt you. I am going to enjoy that as well, because the odd compassion that we feel for our mates doesn’t completely erase the monstrous part that thirsts for pain and misery.”

She turned back to look at him and this time she didn’t meet his eye. He felt a flicker of disappointment. So, perhaps she was frightened after all.

Then he noticed it. The slight flush of her cheeks, the part of her mouth where her teeth were nibbling softly on her bottom lip, the quick rise and fall of her chest as her heart pounded.

She wasn’t frightened. She was aroused.

“Wait here,” he instructed. “I’ll be right back.”

He walked swiftly to the bedroom and selected the right book and several other necessary items without looking at the bed at all.

He was trying not think of how satisfying it was going to be when he finally had her in here. There was no need to rush.

He saw the questions in her eyes when returned. She was curiously looking over the items her carried.

He set down the book, a long knife with a wicked blade and several inscriptions on the black handle, a silver goblet with red gemstones, and several black and red candles. Beside those went a handful of more mundane necessities.

She leaned over to examine everything more closely but didn’t touch anything as he lit the candles and flicked through the book until he found the right page, quickly committing the necessary symbol into his mind.

He paused long enough to look at her face before reaching for her arm. She was still pale, but her eyes were determined.

No pity, he remembered.

She didn’t flinch or pull away from him as he extended her arm, nor did she look away as he picked up the knife.

“This would just be so much more authentic if we did it at night, in a cemetery or a dungeon somewhere,” she quipped, her voice was strained at the edges but firmly cheerful. “Will this even work if we do it at 3pm on a random Tuesday?”

He smiled at her. “Yes, the magic will still work, even if it lacks the appropriate ambiance. Tilt your arm a bit, please, we need the blood to run into the cup when I do this.”

She shifted and he clamped his hand down suddenly on her wrist, holding her forcibly in place as he made the necessary cuts as quickly as possible. Her scream was short, but her breath came hard and fast as she looked with wide eyes at the blood pouring from her arm into the silver goblet.

The design he had carved into her was simple, a few intertwining lines in a vaguely circular pattern, but it was accurate, and the magic would hold.

He watched her blood flowing from her arm into the cup with hooded eyes. He would protect her against any force the world could possibly conjure but seeing the proof of the sacrifice she was willing to make for him was undeniably pleasurable.

He had meant what he told her. He _was_ enjoying this.

He held he arm over the cup for several minutes, until the blood slowed to a few stingy drops, before wrapping her arm in a soft cloth. Bandages would have been better but he wasn’t in the habit of caring for humans so this would have to do.

He set the cup in the center of the table in front of her and carved the same symbol on each candle before lighting it.

When he finished, he settled back into his chair and reached for the book again. She watched him quietly, holding the cloth to her arm. Her expression still held an edge of pain but she mostly just looked slightly annoyed.

“Nearly finished,” he muttered, reading quickly over the incantation inscribed in the old and yellowed pages. He had begun to think that he would never need this particular spell, and it still seemed surreal to him that after so many centuries it had all led to this random Tuesday afternoon.

His eyes left to page to glance at her. His mate. Extraordinary.

“I’ll say the words, and then you just need to repeat them. It’s a simple vow, a promise that cannot be broken.”

She nodded, but said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

He read each line, with her dutifully repeating the words back to him.

_Upon this day_

_Ourselves we bind_

_A symbol of_

_Our souls entwined_

As the last word fell from her lips, the candles flickered briefly and flashed black flames. Her eyes widened and he thought for a moment that she might bolt, but after a steadying breath she settled down again.

He looked her in the eye as blew out each candle one by one before he picked up the cup of her blood and brought it to his lips.

She blanched, the color draining from her face as she watched him drink it. The taste of her was sweet and tangy on his tongue.

As the last drops flowed into him, she cried out again, flinging the cloth away from her wound. The lines he had etched into her skin burned with an unnatural black light before fading into her skin. No outward sign of the injury remained, but he knew it had left the mark of him on her soul.

She shuddered out a breath, examining her arm in wonder.

“Do you feel any differently?”

She pondered for a moment, eyebrows drawn together in concentration. “No? I don’t think so.”

He frowned. Maybe he had done it incorrectly after all. She should feel differently if a magical bond had been created between them.

“I feel,” she continued, “exactly like myself…but somehow myself bigger and fuller than it was before.”

He nodded, smiling. “That’s part of the connection. You tap into some of my strength. Some of it is physical but mostly it is just your soul feeding off my power. You’ll probably be a bit more aggressive and angrier than you were before.”

“Yes, that’s it exactly!”

“Good, that means there’s only one thing left to do.”

He watched the concern pass over face, before she deliberately tucked it away.

She stood, surprising him by holding her hand out for his.

She was clearly braced for what she thought was coming, and he hoped that she was as prepared as she seemed.

He took her hand and followed her as she walked toward his bedroom. She stopped when she crossed the threshold, scanning the room and taking in the bookshelves, the comfortable chair by the window, and the overly large bed.

Another deep, calming breath and she turned to face him, waiting expectantly.

“Now what?”

He tugged her toward him and watched her eyes flutter when the front of her was pressed flush against him.

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and ran his hands up her back. She was trembling slightly, though he wasn’t sure if it was from fear, desire, or some combination of the two.

“Am I going to have to see?” She asked, looking up at him.

“See?”

“You,” she clarified. “You said this time needed to be in your true form. Am I going to have to see it? I just, I’m not sure that I want to have this version of you ruined.” She gave him a hesitant smile and placed her hand softly on his cheek. “I like this version of you.”

“I’m glad, and you will see this version of me so often that I promise you one day you will get tired of seeing it. But for today, you need to see, because knowing adds another layer to the connection between us.”

She wrinkled her nose but didn’t protest any further.

He sighed and took a step back from her. Her eyes followed his movements as he pulled his shirt over his head and her cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink as she examined the expanse of his naked chest.

She looked away entirely as he pulled the rest of his clothes off and he didn’t object. There would be time later for her to get used to his human nudity.

“You should sit,” he instructed. “In the chair or on the bed, whichever is most comfortable for you.”

She chose the chair, scrambling toward it and settling primly on the edge as she had earlier in his office.

“Would you like to watch?” He assumed she didn’t, but felt compelled to ask anyway.

She shook her head, staring out the window as though the view beyond was the most interesting thing she had ever seen.

“That’s fine. I’ll still be able to talk to you after, in a rudimentary way, but in that form I have much less control over my instincts.”

She looked worried again. “Those aren't the eating me instincts, are they?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean they are harmless.”

“Go ahead,” she still hadn’t looked at him, but he knew it was time.

It was never easy, shifting form. The bones inside him cracked and his skin burned horribly as it stretched.

A stabbing pain erupted in his stomach as his organs began to rearrange themselves to fit inside his altered body and his head spilt and bled as two large protrusions pushed their way through the layers of muscle and skin to curve backward over his skull.

His teeth sharpened and his tongue grew thick and heavy in his mouth.

When he was done, he inhaled the scent of her, and a deep growl rumbled from his chest.

She belonged to him and all he needed to do was claim her.

***

She could hear him panting and could feel him watching her.

Every instinct that she possessed told her not to look at him, not to move or even breathe. As though her stillness could somehow prevent him from finding her, though she knew it wasn’t true.

After a minute that felt like several eternities, she turned her head slowly, cautiously, to look at him.

Her breath caught in her throat, somehow preventing her from screaming, though she desperately wanted to.

Even after everything, some part of her thought he might have been joking, or might have looked mostly, unfrighteningly human.

The thing standing before her was human in only the vaguest sense. It had a head, torso, arms, and legs. But there the similarity ended.

His skin was mostly crimson with black markings etched deeply into several scattered places, and it was stretched tightly over the absurdly long length of his limbs. He was drawn and thin, his bones showing clearly at each joint and his ribs protruding grotesquely over a sunken stomach.

His face, too, was far from normal. She had a general impression of a misshapen skull with skin stretched too tightly across his features. From his head two large horns protruded, curving back over his head and coming to rest just behind the place his ears should have been.

He was staring at her, red and black eyes set deep in their sockets.

She didn’t move as he crept toward her, gently sniffing the air as he went.

When he paused in front of her, she recoiled, but there was nowhere for her to go. He placed one hand on her knee, his long fingers tipped with thick, sharp nails, and peered into her face.

She could see it now, in the eyes that were so different from the ones she knew. The impulse of desire, and beneath it the shadow of the man whose hand she held most of today.

She slightly relaxed as he pressed closer. The monster would have his fill, and then the man would return. Whatever this would be, she was prepared to deal with it. For him.

Her breath was quick and shallow as he stood up again, tugging on her arms and legs as he pulled her toward the bed.

“I’m coming, Kylo.” She knew he had said he could understand her, but there was something so primal about him now that she wasn’t entirely sure.

He gave her a small shove when they reached the bed and she tumbled backward onto the mattress. The blanket was soft and fluffy and the whole thing smelled like him. She clung to that fact in her mind as he crawled over her, smelling her skin and nuzzling his way up her body.

He tugged at her clothing, succeeding in ripping most of it in his frenzied attempts to remove it.

She lay shivering beneath him as his eyes roved over her shamelessly.

Gone was the edge of pity she had seen in him earlier, now there was only hunger and desperation.

His hand reached for her breast, squeezing and shaping it beneath his palm. She grunted as the pressure bloomed into pain and was briefly grateful when his attention shifted to the other breast, this time with his mouth. She felt the long, broad swipe of a wet tongue across her nipple and looked down.

His tongue was the same violent black and crimson as the rest of him, and grotesquely huge.

He trailed in from her breast down her stomach, pausing periodically to sink his teeth into her flesh and causing her to cry out as fresh punctures appeared each time.

She tensed, ready to fight or flee when he pushed her legs apart, nails digging into her thighs as he forced her open but was mercifully spared his teeth.

Only his tongue slid over her cunt, delving deeply into her folds and suddenly pressing inside her. He forced his way into the center of her, a place no one else had ever been, and she bucked beneath him.

He punished her with a vicious bite to her inner thigh, so she struggled to remain still beneath him as he pushed back into her, writhing and wriggling as he filled her.

Her terror began to subside as the pure sensation filled her awareness. Her control slipped away and her hips pressed up into him in eager enjoyment. There was no punishment this time, and she soon lost awareness of everything else.

When he pulled away from her, and became aware of herself again, she realized she wrapped her finger around the horns on his head, holding him in place.

She let go of him reluctantly, somewhat afraid of what he might do next.

A feeling that seemed quite justified when he flipped her unceremoniously into her stomach. She tried to scramble away, suddenly terrified now that he was behind her and she couldn’t see him, but he grabbed her quickly by the hair and one hip.

She was trapped on her knees in front of him, trembling with terror.

She could feel him pushing into her and the surprising pain of it. She hadn’t looked at that part of him, though he had been naked, out of embarrassment and some twisted sense of respect for his privacy.

Now he pushed into her and it seemed that his body would never fit. It stretched her and filled her until she was sure that it would split her in two and tears ran freely down her cheeks.

And then, miraculously, it seemed that he was fully inside her and she was somehow still whole, though perhaps only barely.

Her relief was short lived, because he began to move inside her almost immediately, and the echoes of pleasure she had experienced from his tongue were mostly overwhelmed by pain and uncertainty for the several thrusts.

She focused on the sound of him breathing heavily and the dull ache in her hips where his fingers dug into her and forced herself to relax.

She had told him that she could do this, promised herself that she was strong enough and that she would have no regrets.

The pain lessened as she calmed herself and allowed her muscles to relax around him. Each thrust now brought a heightened sensation of pleasure that danced seductively with her pain until she could no longer distinguish between the two.

She pressed herself back against him, crying out softly with each movement of his hips until he finally emptied himself into her. She collapsed beneath him and lacked the energy to even open her eyes when he moved away from her.

Her mind flitted briefly across the thought that it was strange to be disappointed that it was over, but she didn’t let her thoughts dwell in that place.

It was better to enjoy it than to live in fear of it.

That was the last thought she had before sleep claimed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh, this chapter took twice as long to get through as it should have because I was trying to strike the perfect balance between monstrous and sexy. Idk how well that worked, but the point is that I tried.


	4. Passion and Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one is you and that is your power- Dave Grohl

Kylo had been watching the door to his bedroom for the past several hours, waiting for Rey to wake up. She had slept most of Tuesday evening, all through the night, and through breakfast on Wednesday.

He knew she was exhausted and physically drained, but he was starting to get concerned. Maybe he had hurt her in some serious way and hadn’t noticed.

He gave her another five minutes while he paced the empty space in his living room before he couldn’t stand the wait any more and padded quietly to the bedroom door. He turned the knob and leaned into the door, pushing it open slowly and silently and peeking inside.

The bright morning light spilling into the room illuminated her sleeping figure. She looked peaceful but very still and he frowned.

He didn’t want to disturb her sleep, but he needed make sure she was ok, so he stepped in and sat down on the bed next to her. He leaned over her, closely examining her face.

Her cheeks and lips were pink, and her breathing was strong and even. He brushed a stray lock of brown hair back from her forehead and she stirred gently, stretching and wincing as she did so.

The movement shifted the blanket that covered her arms and back and she frowned as the sunlight revealed the evidence of what he had put her body through the night before.

She had lines of bruises and her arms were covered in shallow cuts and smears of dried blood. He didn’t need to look to know that the rest of her body would look similarly.

She was bound to be sore and hungry and was obviously in need of a shower or a warm bath.

Her eyes fluttered open and he smiled when she didn’t immediately flinch or pull away from him, meeting his eyes with her own steady gaze.

There were no traces of fear or disgust on her face and some of he was incredibly proud that she was the one that fate had determined would be his mate.

“Good morning,” she said quietly, smiling at him hesitantly.

“Good morning,” he replied, rubbing a gentle and soothing hand over her arm. “Did you sleep well?”

She nodded, rolling onto her side so that she could see him more easily. “I seem to have slept better than you. Have you been awake long?”

“Long enough,” he responded. No point in telling her that he laid beside her most of the night listening to the sound of her breathing in the darkness and wondering how she would react to him in the morning. It seemed most of his fears had been for nothing.

“Long enough to look human again,” her eyes moved over him, and he knew she was examining his shape beneath the simple t-shirt and sweatpants he was wearing, looking for flaws in his human form that would give a clue to the monster within. She seemed disconcerted when she wasn’t able to detect anything.

“The disguise is enough to fool anyone, even those who know it isn’t real.”

She nodded, scooting across the bed until she was sitting next to him with his black sheets pulled up to cover her breasts. “So, what do we do today?”

He rubbed a hand over her arm, and she flinched when his hand made contact with some of her deeper cuts. “You’ll probably want to start with a shower while I make you something to eat. Are you hungry?”

“Desperately hungry!” she said and he wasn' surprised. Her body needed fuel for healing.

He stood, wanting to offer her some privacy. “The bathroom is through that door,” he said, pointing. “I’ll have you something to eat by the time you finish. There’s a robe in there that you can use, and we’ll get your clothes and other possessions from your apartment today.”

She smiled and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She took the sheet with her as she walked to the bathroom, letting the length of it drag on the floor behind her as she went.

“Rey?” he called, and she turned just before she disappeared into the other room. “Are you sure you’re alright? I didn’t hurt you…well I did obviously, but you aren’t _injured?_ ”

“No, Kylo. It was frightening and sometimes painful, but it was tolerable.” She paused and bit her lip. “How often does it need to be done that way? With you in that form, I mean.”

He shrugged. “Not often, once a month or so to maintain the bond.”

“That’s not so bad, but,” she lifted her arm, indicating the bloody streaks with her hand, “Phasma doesn’t have scars?”

“Neither will you,” he reassured her. “You’ll heal a bit faster and cleaner than a normal human now. One of the perks.”

She nodded, accepting his explanation without further question and disappearing into the bathroom. He waited for the sound of water running in the shower before heading to the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later she emerged wrapped in his overly large robe and rubbing her hair with one of his towels. She looked alert and refreshed and when she spotted the plate of food in his hand, she rewarded him with a wide smile.

He gestured to a seat at the table and she sat down. His robe slid off her knee, revealing her leg from the thigh down. The blood here was gone, but she still had the darkest of the bruises and the deepest of the cuts.

He her plate in front of her before sitting down with his own. She ate several bites of the scrambled eggs he had made before she noticed him nibbling on his own toast.

“You eat?”

“Um, yes? Did you think I didn’t?” He couldn’t think of anything he had said that would have indicated otherwise.

“I knew you ate,” she clarified, “I just didn’t realize that you ate normal food. I mean, you said you eat people.” She didn’t look at him as she said it, suddenly concentrating very hard on adding butter to her own toast.

“Oh. Well, yes, I do that, too. Occasionally. Most of the monsters that have mates find it helps to cut down on the necessity of frequent feedings. Gives us something else to with our energy,” he explained.

“And how often is that?” she asked.

“Now? Maybe every six months or so.” It was best to give her the truth because while he wouldn’t ask her to be a part of that, he also knew it wasn’t something he could hide from her.

She looked oddly relieved. “I see. I assumed it was a daily thing, like the way I eat.”

That explained her relief then. “No, it isn’t. I eat normal food most of the time.”

She finished eating in contemplative silence and he didn’t interrupt, lost in his own thoughts.

He had told her that they would go to her apartment after they got done eating, but he was reconsidering it. Going personally for her things might be upsetting to her and he decided to just send someone to pack up all her stuff and bring it to her. He was going to make sure she had a new wardrobe anyway, but he wanted to give her the chance to keep anything that was important to her before he got rid of the rest.

She didn’t seem upset when he mentioned that he would like to change plans, but she didn’t appear to but enthusiastic when he suggested shopping, either.

“I still look like a mess,” she explained, and he had to concede her point. She would likely be healed entirely by tomorrow, but for today she would still carry enough marks to make people question her injuries.

“What would you like to do then?”

She looked at him and then down at her toast, pink spreading across her cheeks.

He was surprised but also terribly aroused. He had put her through a terribly traumatizing ordeal last night and he knew she was undoubtedly still sore from the demands on her body.

He reached across the table to grab her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. “Are you sure?”

She nodded without looking at him and he tugged gently on her hand until she stood and walked to stand in front of him. He grabbed her hip and guided her body until she was seated on his lap, directly facing him and with one leg on each side of his waist.

He settled his hands on her thighs, rubbing the sensitive skin through the fabric of the robe, until she relaxed enough to look at him.

“You don’t ever have to be ashamed to ask me for anything you want. You can have anything that is within my power to give, which is mostly anything, but you can have me, especially.” He pressed a kiss to her neck and smiled as she shivered from his touch.

“Anytime or anywhere,” he continued, kissing his way down to her collarbone, “that you desire. I only asked because I wanted to make sure that you felt up to it physically.”

“I do,” she gasped, pressing closer to him as he reached inside the robe to twist one perfect nipple between his fingers.

“I can see that,” he replied, hooking an arm around her waist and standing in one smooth motion. She locked her legs around him and held on tight as he carried her back to the bedroom.

She seemed to have lost her initial shy hesitation and tangled her fingers in his hair to pull his mouth to her own in a greedy kiss. Her mouth opened hungrily, teeth scrapping and nibbling at his lips before she drew his bottom lip between them and nipped down hard.

A little bit of monster magic and desire and she had become a wild thing in his arms. It was as though all she had needed was the knowledge that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

He finally managed to get her to the bedroom and stumbled his way to the bed, following her down to the mattress as she refused to let go of him.

A quick tug on the ties of the robe was all it took to have her naked and exposed beneath him. Her flesh was quivering as he let his hands explore all of the smooth lengths and soft edges of her body.

He pressed hot kisses to the places on her skin that still carried rapidly healing bruises and the long lines left by his claws. She flinched when he pressed his lips against the bite wound on her thigh, and he saw the puncture wounds were still fairly deep.

She hadn’t complained once about any of it, and he was so proud of her.

He wanted her to know that those moments were not all that he had to offer her, and when she began to tug on his shirt he paused, prying her hands off of him enough to sit up and pull it off himself.

She watched eagerly as he stood to remove the rest of his clothes, hooking his thumbs in the waist pants of his pants and pushing until he was able to slide them off his feet.

She reached for him with open arms, but when he rolled into bed he didn’t stop when he was laying on top of her. He kept rolling with her in his arms until she was settled firmly on top of him.

Her mouth opened in surprise at the sudden and unexpected movement, and he wasn’t sure that she was happy about the change in position.

“I just want you to enjoy this, and since last night was rough for you I though you might like to be in control today,” he explained, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as he spoke.

“I don’t know what to do,” she confessed, and he was sad to see some of her newly discovered confidence waiver.

“You can do anything you want, but it’s good for both of us if you touch me.” His eyes never left hers as he reached for her hand and guided it to his chest. Her tongue peaked out to wet her lips as she ran her fingers over him in cautious exploration.

She seemed to enjoy having free range to touch him and soon her touch became more confident. He sucked in a breath, every muscle tensing, when her fingers trailed across his stomach, and she smiled.

Her delight at his responses was clear. She liked having power over him.

His fingers dug into her hips as she rocked her body against him. He wanted to be inside her more than he wanted his next breath, and after a hastily whispered, “Please,” she shifted enough to allow him to guide his cock into her.

She whined as she pressed onto him. He was glad he had let her set the pace for this. She could be as careful as she needed to be. He wasn’t sure he would have had the restraint to keep from pounding into her.

She was panting by time she had settled fully onto him, but the look she gave him was one of wild and glorious triumph.

He waited for her to relax and then began to slowly guide her through the motion, encouraging her to shift her body until she found the angle that provided the least discomfort and the most potential for pleasure.

He leaned up on his elbow to grab a fistful of her hair as she began to ride him with increased eagerness.

“Do you like it when your cunt is full of me?” he demanded and she nodded her head desperately, grabbing is shoulders to steady herself as she increased her pace.

“Say it. Out loud. Tell me you like the feel of me in your cunt.”

“I… I like it.” He gave a rough yank on her hair, still trapped in his fist. “I like the feel of you in my cunt,” she whispered.

“Good, I like the feel of your cunt on me You’re so tight and wet.” Her cheeks turned pink immediately and her answer had been hesitant, but that would be enough for this time.

He was eventually going to strip her of her shyness and fill her with confidence. She was everything and he wanted her to know it.

Her body was soon shaking around him, inner muscles rhythmically clenching around his cock as her orgasm rocked through her.

Unable to stop himself, he rolled her beneath him and slid back inside her. She sucked in a quick breath at the force of it but wrapped her legs around him to pull him closer. A few desperate pounding thrusts was all it took for him to reach his own peak and his cock twitched inside her as he emptied himself into her.

It was several minutes later, after laying on him comfortably while they both dozed in companionable silence, when she tilted her head up to look at him. “Can I get pregnant?” she asked.

He frowned, suddenly uneasy, “No, you can’t. Not with me.”

She nodded. “I just wondered, since we aren’t using protection. Not sure what a part human, part monster kid would be like.”

She smiled without any trace of concern and he relaxed. She didn’t seem to be mourning the loss of potential children.

“Let’s just stay in bed all day,” she announced. “Except for getting food, of course.”

He smiled. He could certainly agree to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I enjoyed writing this, it was my first darker fic and my first Monster story! Hope you like and it and thank you for reading!   
> You can also follow me on Twitter @Love_andbalance to get story updates and Star Wars related posts!


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much for endings. Beginnings are always more fun. - Margaret Atwood

Six months after the fateful day when Kylo beckoned her into his office and changed her life forever, she stepped out of her car into the early afternoon sunlight.

She hadn’t really wanted a car of her own, since she had been coming into the office with him every day and was basically inseparable from him otherwise, but when her college classes had started she had been forced to acknowledge the need for her to drive to and from school.

He had let her choose her own, and she now had her own very shiny black sports car. The purr of the engine always made her smile and reminded her of him. Having something so powerful that responded so well to your slightest touch was quite a thrill.

She had been lucky enough to get most of her classes online this semester, she was still unhappy about being separated from him for any longer than necessary, but she still had to drive to campus twice a week.

It was also nice to have it on days like today, when she was coming back from a lunch meeting with Phasma. The older blonde had warmed up to her over the past few months, and though they weren’t friends, there was an easy peace between them, and they worked well together on company projects.

The glass front of the office building reflected her appearance back at her as she walked inside. Gone was the frumpy, insecure teen of months ago. 

She looked like a competent businesswoman. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek and elegant style that emphasized her cheekbones and her makeup was expertly done to enhance the blue of her eyes. Kylo had chosen the tailored black suit she was wearing, with the short pencil skirt, and with her favorite pair of heels it made her legs look slim and endless.

She realized suddenly that all of the things she had wanted when she first started interning here had become a reality for her. She had Phasma’s polished and powerful look, and, by some miracle of fate and instinct, she had Kylo.

The elevator door dinged open and she walked straight past her desk and into his office without knocking. He was on the phone but smiled and gestured for her to have a seat while he finished the call.

He was still the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She adored him in this form, watching him run his hands through his hair was something she didn’t think she’s ever get used to. It still sent a rush of heat straight to her core.

But she had come to adore him even in his other form. His roughness hadn’t changed but a few days of healing while being pampered and spoiled by an adoring man was more than enough to make up for any lingering pain or soreness.

She was truly and incandescently happy. He had never told her loved her, and she doubted that he ever would, but what she had was enough.

He finally hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair, smiling at her. “Did you need something?”

“I just heard some news on the radio,” she said quietly, “about that boy from my college that went missing. The police found his body. They said it looked like had been attacked by some animal.”

He nodded. “Yes, I saw. Truly horrible. Though you weren’t very upset about that boy going missing if I remember correctly. He had been stalking his ex-girlfriend for months, right? And isn’t she a friend of yours?”

She walked around the desk to settle onto his lap and pressed a grateful kiss to his lips.

“She is. She was very relieved that he was no longer threatening her. Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” he vowed. “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I will leave their story, but they are, of course, only at the beginning of their literal forever. I like this story because there now exits at least one timeline where death will never separate them.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thanks for reading. Please don't judge me too harshly for my monster sex obsession, even though I deserve it. So far my other stories are much fluffier and full of love and pining, but if that is also your thing they can be found here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/Love_andbalance/works
> 
> I'm also on Twitter @Love_andbalance so you can follow me there for story updates and Star Wars related content!


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